The "O"

Well, I got busted a few weeks ago... At the bar. Some ding-dong which mommy was going on a date with left the door open too wide when he came to pick her up and BOOM! I was gone! Shot out the door like a canon. I tricked her. Made her think I was just going to run through the neighbors' yards. Instead I snuck over to the bar on the next block over. Apparently she was out driving around looking for me and when she got back to the house she had all sorts of missed calls saying I was at the bar.

I can't believe those bar girls ratted me out! I was flirting and getting everything I wanted. Then mommy shows up and catches me red-handed behind the bar with the bartender. I don't know what the big deal was. She must be jealous or worried I'd find another mommy. Must be why I have this dog tag with her number choking me all the time. Talk about ball and chain!

I've only been able to get out once since then. But I avoided the bar. I didn't need the lectures about crossing the busy highway.

I do have one thing figured out, however. If I want to go for a car ride and she's not listening to me, I just wait for the open door opportunity. Guaranteed when she finds me down the block, I'll be going for a car ride. And she thinks she has me fooled!

#carride

Storms

So this chick I've been living with... Alright, mommy... She's kind of a nut when it comes to storms. We had a chance of tornados this evening so she packed, as always. Food, water, my allergy meds. But most importantly, Yellowman for me and Snowman for Chica. (I'll add a picture at the end.)

Chica is very possessive and bossy so I love to steal Snowman as much as possible to aggravate her. I'm pretty sure my whole purpose in life is to aggravate Chica. She refuses to play with me or kiss me. She gets mad if I even touch her. Which of course means I'm going to do it on purpose. Especially in bed. Sometimes she thinks she's laying against mommy, but because of the blanket she can't tell it's actually me. And then I'll growl at her for the fun of it. Paybacks!

This chick

So I started living with this chick about a year ago. I don't even want to get into the story of how I ended up at the county shelter. But that's where she picked me up. The whole car ride home I'm strapped into the backseat like a two-year-old in a car seat and listening to her try to figure out if she's going to call me "Jack" or not. Apparently she'd just started watching Duck Dynasty and thought it'd be cute to name me after Uncle Si. But did I get named Jack? Nope, I was lucky enough to get named Si. And if that wasn't specific enough, my full given name is now Silas T. Bear (T for Teddy, aww isn't that just cute).

I'm embarrassed to say I do call her mommy now. But might as well get it out there and over with. Now that it's been a year, she's finally speaking my language and maybe some of my horrid stories of major anxiety are a little more funny. Maybe, except the diarrhea of the mouth story. That's probably still just really gross. I'm betting that smell will never leave my memory. I'm pretty sure I almost made mommy die.

Ok, well, I'm tired. More later. Here's a pic of handsome me... Yep, I'm one gorgeous guy...

#selfie

 

*Note the real Uncle Si and I both have a missing bottom tooth. And apparently I'm naturally inclined to squeaking rubber duckies.